Music Helped Save My Life

By Manuel Garcia

When I was young and newly sober, I made the difficult decision to stop playing in punk rock bands.

Not because I lost the love of music or the guitar, but because alcohol and other drugs were everywhere. The venues and music scene in Mexico City were not conducive to my recovery. To get healthy, I had to leave that part of me behind.

Of course, not everyone needs to give up gigging to get sober. But for me, young as I was, it made sense.

Thankfully—though I left the venues, the music never left me. In fact, music helped save my life. In many ways, it was my higher power back then. It still is sometimes.

That’s why I’m so excited to join the board at Dissonance and be part of the mission to promote well-being in and through the arts. I’ve been sober from all mood-altering substances for 17 years now, and work as a licensed, master’s level addiction counselor and program supervisor. The opportunity to bring together my long love of art and music with my personal and professional commitment to healing and well-being was just what I’ve been waiting for, without ever knowing it.

The first time I heard about Dissonance was through my friend and colleague Jeremiah Gardner, who already served on the board. We both work for the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation and, after a visioning session at our organization, Jeremiah brought a vision my way that included me potentially joining the efforts of Dissonance. I replied by saying, “I don’t know. Right now may not be the right time. I find myself incredibly busy with many projects.” I love that his reply mirrored what’s often heard in Twelve Step recovery circles: “Why don’t you come to our upcoming house concert and see what you think?”

I had to push myself to attend. Every time I see a musician perform live, my mind seems to ask: “What if?” “What if I didn’t have a substance use disorder, or what if I had the resources necessary to set boundaries that would have allowed me to do what I love most and still stay healthy?” I’m so glad I made it to the house show that day. The second I arrived, Jeremiah came to greet me and introduced me to the artist performing, Chris Koza. Chris talked about his music career and showed interest in who I was and why I was attending. We even got to talking about one of my favorite and most influential artists, Elliott Smith. Chris was so kind and welcoming, and so was everyone else. Plus — no alcohol. A show with no booze? In a house in a safe environment? With an artist the caliber of Chris Koza? “No way. It couldn’t be real,” I thought. 

To my surprise, not only did I see people from the recovery community at the show, but non-alcoholic beverages were served, and it was a completely sober event. I didn’t think something like this could be possible. I had distanced myself from the music scene for so many years because I wanted to prioritize my recovery. Shortly after we spoke, Chris began to perform. His music immediately resonated. I got goosebumps the second he started playing his Taylor acoustic guitar. I couldn’t believe I was in an environment where I felt safe and could listen to rad music. Chris also was interviewed during the show, and he talked about the importance of self-care, and what he does to stay healthy on the road. I couldn’t believe it! 

I hope to help bring the message of Dissonance to those who need to hear how arts and well-being are aligned. Music and other art can help us get through the difficult aspects in life, and connect us to each other. I want people to learn, as I did, that there are others out there, like those of us connected to Dissonance, who are supportive and welcoming no matter your background. I hope we can help adolescents and young adults who find themselves in the situation I did—feeling like they need to choose between well-being and art—access the resources they need to keep up their art while focusing on their health at the same time.

Seventeen years ago, I wish the support and message of an organization like Dissonance had been there for me. It’s here now, though, and I am incredibly excited to be helping plan our next house show featuring Mark Mallman. I hope everyone who attends feels as supported and welcomed as I did, hanging out with great people enjoying incredible music in a safe, inclusive environment for all!

Manuel Garcia is an outpatient program supervisor at Hazelden Betty Ford in St. Paul and a board member for Dissonance. He also serves on the National Association of Addiction Treatment Providers’ Diversity, Equity, Inclusivity and Belonging Committee and Hazelden Betty Ford’s DEI Committee. He lives in Woodbury , Minn., with his wife Mickey and their daughter Nina.

Manuel and Nina

Meet New Dissonance Board Member Luke LeBlanc

Dissonance is thrilled to welcome Luke LeBlanc as the 17th board member in our seven-year history. Luke is a folk-rock singer-songwriter who also works in finance as a billing analyst and is the owner of Access Tutoring, providing professional, caring and affordable tutoring for students of all ages.

We first met Luke at our 2022 Ghost Notes Fall Block Party. He stopped by to check out the music and vibe, and was promptly handed a guitar which led to an impromptu solo set early in the evening. It was fantastic, A month later, he contributed an insightful blog post for our website, entitled Thoughts on Thinking.

We are excited and grateful that Luke has now joined the Dissonance board as a leader and ambassador for our mission to promote health and wellness in and through the arts, and we’re happy to introduce you to him in this Q&A.

How did you hear about Dissonance, and what attracted you to the mission?

I learned about Dissonance by scrolling through Instagram (something I probably do a bit too much) and seeing Charlie Parr’s Sessions taping. I was tickled pink to see a non-profit based in my home city producing a video series that highlights artists, their music, and most importantly, the feelings behind their music. I think that we’re beginning to see a long-overdue cultural shift in people being more willing to talk about and process their emotions, whether that be publicly in podcasts, intimately with friends, or privately in therapy. When people do that, it leads others to do the same, and getting things off our chests tends to leave us collectively a bit more happy, productive, and empathetic. Dissonance provides me with an avenue to join an enthusiastic team in continuing this trend. 

How do you connect personally to the Dissonance mission?   

While I can’t speak for all singer-songwriters, I can say that I’ve personally had the tendency to experience the “extra strength” version of emotions, be it joy, worry, or conflict. This leads to a dissonance, so to speak. On the one hand, there are many times I wish I could just experience “worry-lite,” and move on with my day, but on the other, being able to sensitively tune my antenna into the spectrum of thoughts and emotions flowing through the river of my mind allows me to catch those feelings and process them into songs that inspire me enough to make albums out of them. 

Photo by Sarah Bel Kloetzke

This sort of trade-off has historically led to the myth that artists need to have “problems” from which they can mine inspiration and create. Dissonance is working hard to prove this mythology wrong by creating and supporting spaces that support the empathic and intuitive perspective that creatives give to the world, while fighting unhealthy coping mechanisms that old patterns have led us to believe they must experience at the same time. 

How do you stay well? 

I tend to cycle through different methods, but lately I’ve been trying to put the phone down every so often. Our phones give us access to a plethora of helpful tools and information, but they are extremely addicting. I’ve noticed that even small periods of intentionally untethering myself from it brings a sense of calm, whether it’s for an hour to intentionally relax and watch a show, or 10 minutes so I can start my mornings in a more calm and intentional way than reading an onslaught of memes and news headlines might allow. 

I also try to be with others when I can. Getting dinner with a friend, catching up with family over the phone, or even collaborating with a colleague serves as a restart to my mind, providing a chance to gain outside perspective on (or a health distraction from) the challenges or blindspots I might be experiencing. 

One of my most reliable ways of staying well is looking at things with a sense of humor as much as (reasonably) possible. Laughing at the absurdity of a petty argument or the ironic lesson I gleaned from a trying experience can lower the temperature and bring on feelings of ease when they’re needed most. 

It’s one thing to connect to a mission; it’s another to volunteer your time. What motivates you to be involved in that way?

While volunteering is selfless by nature, there’s always so much in it for the volunteer too, in terms of learning from colleagues, curating events and resources for others and getting to attend them, and feeling part of a collective beneficial cause bigger than oneself. They say love is a verb, so I’m thankful for opportunities to stay active within a creative community that I truly admire.

What can you share about your latest and upcoming music projects? 

I released an album in October 2022 entitled Fugue State that centers around the sense of unease we’ve experienced the last few years. Often defined as a temporary state where a person loses awareness of their identity as a defense against psychological stress, a “fugue state” is something I think we’ve been experiencing as a society lately. From deep cultural divide, to a once in a century pandemic, to overdue social reckoning in the world and at home in the U.S., we’ve lost a bit of our identity and direction and are desperately trying to find it again. I see the album not as an avenue to provide solutions, but as a place to start processing our feelings about it first. Processing these feelings is a necessary step before we can discover solutions to rebuild in a sustainable way.

Besides that, a few months ago I brought the band down to Erik Koskinen’s studio in Cleveland, MN, to record a new album. I don’t know when it’s coming out yet, but I can say that recording it was the most fun I’ve ever had in the recording studio. I hope that means we did something right. 

Learn more about Luke and his music on his website, and catch up with him on social media: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

Photo by Sarah Bel Kloetzke