Editor’s Note: Jen Gilhoi has been an incredible board member, friend and inspiration to all of those associated with Dissonance. She has helped shape our voice even as we have shaped hers, and we are so proud of the work she is doing today as the co-founder of Zero Proof Collective and Sauna and Sobriety, among many other purposeful pursuits. As she sunsets her service on the Dissonance board, we share this blog—originally posted to JenGilhoi.com—with deep love and gratitude.
By Jen Gilhoi
When I started observing Dissonance – its mission, the brand, the community – seven years ago in 2017, I was three years sober from alcohol. The rooms of AA had conditioned me to share vulnerably and to let whatever voice I gave to my story to just be, in its own right. It’s actually a beautiful thing that feedback or fixing in the moment is simply not a thing in AA. My shares often came out disjointed, messy, imperfect, emotional… but ultimately voicing something among witnesses helped me process my thoughts, create accountability, and move me into positive action.
Receiving a medallion with the Roman numeral III on July 28, 2017, at my Monday regular AA group carried weight and a freedom for me. I now understand it to be a defining moment at three years in my sobriety, one where I felt compelled to be more open about my journey outside of the AA rooms. Let Go Out Loud was the first blog I wrote for Dissonance, prior to me even joining the board in November 2018. Dissonance was that safe space to share my story, because where else would it have fit? LinkedIn? An email share with friends and family? No. I wanted to talk to others struggling with sobriety, provide a lifeline that a celebrated sober life was possible.
Journey to Just Be
Maintaining sobriety in modern society can be a hard-fought journey. It’s a heavy lift. After doing so much of that diligent work with the 12 Steps for years, I wanted to just be. Be in community. Be at ease. Be comfortable in social settings where alcohol was present. In Dissonance, I joined a small, but mighty board of individuals, who seemed to already know that taking in concerts, experiencing art and performances, was a pathway to the connection and belonging I craved but couldn’t find in adult settings in 2018.
Over my five years as a board member, I had the pleasure of being in community with people who shared a passion for creating healthy community and openly talking about mental health and addiction challenges and triumphs. In this environment, I took cues on weathering life’s ups and downs and how to ask for support, and be supported. It all co-existed and it was incredibly positive, forever changing my boundaries and expectations of how I want to show up in community and create my own communities.
Highlights and Sunsetting
Conversations within this community helped me navigate relationships in sobriety. They prompted me to forge new gathering formats including Story Well, along with fellow board member, Katy Vernon. Story Well started pre-Covid at The Warming House in Minneapolis, and continued through social distancing, creating space for people to share their story and find their way to well. Conversations also led me to discover how deeply I disconnected from my love of music and dance in early sobriety because my enjoyment of live music and expressing myself through movement was so linked to alcohol. Time to reclaim those connections! … which I most definitely did through Dissonance and our work to uplift artists and musicians.
Some of my favorite memories are St. Pat’s Day coffee hours at Five Watt and Claddagh Coffee, Unhappy Holidays at SpringBox and The Music Lab, Resolution 2020 at The Parkway Theater, Story Well at the Warming House, our five-year anniversary party at Royal Foundry Craft Spirits, supporting Morningside After Dark performances, being behind-the-scenes at the recording of Dissonance Sessions productions, and Ghost Notes on the SW Mpls neighborhood block and at Bauhaus.
Signing off in early 2024 as I end over five years with Dissonance is bittersweet. It was an absolute joy to be on this healthy non-profit board with Sarah Souder Johnson at the helm. The experiences and events in community with the expression of music and art holds so much meaning for me. The opportunity to be on stage, connect with others, and write and communicate on behalf of the Dissonance mission undoubtedly shaped my voice. I’ll be taking that forward into new ventures and communities that shatter stigmas and create healthier paths to wellness and purpose. Gratitude and love to Dissonance and all the journeys, heart and soul, I encountered along the way.
Letting go out loud with each of you was an incredible ride!
